Wednesday, 12 October 2016

Now that I'm 26

Last Friday it was my birthday, technically I was born 5 days early so today *should* have been my birthday if I'd not been so terribly eager twenty-six years ago. I have to say I'm not sure how I feel about being 26, I'm now past the quarter century and I'm kinda worried that I still don't feel like I have all my shit together. Heck, I *know* I'm a mess but I'd rather like for it not to be so obvious to everyone else.

This cake kinda represents my life rn

Some of my fav Youtube humans have done wonderful videos on their birthdays called "X things I have learned in X years" depending on whether they're turning 24, 25 or 26 etc. Rosianna Halse Rojas did this one last year, Lex Croucher did hers earlier this year and Charlie McDonnell did his last week when he turned 26 (it's odd to think he's only 6 days older than me).

I'm not doing a similar list today, mostly because my memory is sufficiently terrible that I don't think I can string together 26 things that the last quarter century and a smidge have taught me.

Instead I'm going to list 26 Hopes I have for the next year.

Now I'm 26 I hope...
1. That the world doesn't end in November (I know I'm not the only one)
2. That I am able to complete my degree by next July.
3. That I can get a 2:1 in that degree
4. That I can get a job I enjoy & which isn't a chore to get up for
5. That I can figure out what is going on with my health
6. That I can then start to feel better
7. That I can have lots of fun adventures with my friends
8. That I can also have lots of adventures with my OH
9. That we can properly celebrate 5 years together next June
10. That my loved ones are safe and happy
11. That I have the ability to finish a worthy draft of my book
12. That I have the courage to share that book with others
13. That I can find the magic to write another book
14. That I can meet & befriend more like-minded people
15. That I can be a good friend to those in my life already
16. That I can become a better person than I am today.
17. That I can feel happy with the choices I make
18. That I can feel happy in my body & my head
19. That I can learn to be kinder to myself
20. That I can find the passion to pursue my dreams
21. That I can weather the knock-backs during that pursuit
22. That I read books that inspire me
23. That I can meet some more of my favourite authors
24. That I remember to be grateful for everything I have
25. That I always tell those who matter to me how much I appreciate them.
26. I hope that my 27th birthday will be spent with those I love.

So that's a rather eclectic mix of things that I hope will come to pass during the next year of my life. I know some of those are dependent on chance & opportunity but many of them will only be possible if I make them happen myself. I have be more active in creating my own happiness. No one is going to just give me the spell to magic my life into its best possible configuration. I'm going to have to work for it. So next time you see me bitching about "why isn't x, y or z happening?" ask me if I've actually *done* anything to make it a reality.

Now I'm 26... maybe I need to start acting like it. (at least in some respects, there's no need to go full-blown grown-up y'know?)


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No judgment, no hate, because it is already tough enough being a girl.