Sweating All Over the Place

Hey... did you guys notice that it was pretty hot in England this week?

Even if you weren't in the country, due to our national notoriety of complaining you probably heard about it. But hey, we don't get heatwaves very often so we're allowed to complain, right?

Did you also know that when the weather is hot, our bodies get hot and then this weird thinks happen where water just comes pouring out of our pores? You know... we sweat. 

You may find this a bizarre concept, especially if you are female because as females, it is not socially acceptable to sweat. This is not something we do. We are ladies. 

Yuck.

This is what I want to talk about today and maybe it's just me but I have noticed while growing up and definitely this week that talking about how much I'm sweating is considered not socially okay. Like, as a female I should just deal with it and be y'know, proper about it all.

But I noticed that as my male colleagues had to wear more clothes then us - oh double standards, how you suck - it was perfectly acceptable for them to sweat. 

But it's more than that really. 

Because a male can be sweaty on the back or under the arms and while it's not exactly nice, no one comments on it. But if as a female you have visible sweat patches, it will always be pointed out. ("Oh, aren't you wearing any anti-deodorant today?", "Best go change your top if you can") [Also notice how this is most often a female talking to another female?!?]

Why is this?

It is a natural process that happens to all humans so why do women get treated worse when they visible sweat or even mention sweating in a conversation. It was hot and simply sitting in a chair in my non-air conditioned room made me sweat like crazy but to admit it out loud felt massively taboo and it has irked me a little bit.

So here's my statement to the world.

THIS WEEK I SWEATED OUT BUCKETS OF WATER.

And that is totally okay by me. 

Do you feel the same or am I just being pernickety?

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A Year Later...

This time last year, more or less, I officially came out of the closet and so today to celebrate #Pride2017, I wanted to write a little something about how my life has changed and not changed since I posted this post last year.

For the most part, nothing much has changed - as it shouldn't. I still have good friends. I still go to work. I am, essentially, still me.

But also, there has been quite a lot that has changed. Mostly for the better too! Yay!

The one thing that I can definitely say with absolute certainty is that I do not regret coming out last year.

In The Past Year:

The Good:

• I have felt more comfortable in my skin. Knowing who I am inside and why I am the way I am has really helped to make me feel more comfortable on the outside. I may live in a society obsessed with sex but I am not and that is totally okay.
• I find it easier to talk about my asexuality with other people - including strangers and work colleagues! Recently I've brought it up to a few of my new colleagues just casually in conversation and if they already know about it they let it slide but I did have one person ask and she was totally cool with my response. I educated someone about it which was fantastic!
• I find it is easier to ask if conversations about sex could not happen around me. Not that I dislike talk about it but sometimes just thinking about my friends having sex makes me feel a bit uncomfortable! - Sorry guys!
• There are a few more fun in jokes with my friends which makes me feel more included and happy - which is never a bad thing.
• When I got so little judgement, it made me feel safe and happy. My sexuality is my sexuality and at the end of the day, if it doesn't affect your way of life, why should you judge? 
• I've been trying to read and watch more books and shows with good ace rep. I've not been hugely successful yet but hopefully one day!

The Bad:

• I still sometimes feel like there is something wrong with me. Why don't I want to have sex? Should I just do it to get it over with? I know these are mostly silly thoughts but society doesn't always make it easy to be "different".
• I still struggle to see myself in a relationship with anyone because I am overly anxious about the sex side of things. I don't want to force someone to not have sex but I would also want someone to be faithful to me so how would that ever work?
• I have recently been thinking about being a teenager and remembering that I used to want to be a nun because even though I was an atheist, I knew that as a nun it would be socially acceptable not to have sex. I still don't think it's truly socially acceptable and that hurts inside.
• While I have come out to the internet, my friends and colleagues, I have yet to be able to face my family with the news. As far as I can tell, they just wouldn't understand and just assume I hadn't found the right person yet or that I would feel differently once I'd had sex. And I just don't want to feel so disheartened by those who are that close to me.

So it's been a rocky year but I'm hoping that those bad points will, at some point in the future, disappear entirely. 

The one thing that has not changed and will never change is that I am PROUD to be an ASEXUAL.

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We are strong against terrorism

We are all born into this world without being knowledgeable: we are brought into this world without being spiteful and we are certainly not quick to judge others. It is only as we begin to grow into adults where we learn to become prejudice, even cruel to each other. Rather than being compassionate we, as humans, tend to show more hate in certain circumstances. In light of the recent terror attacks in Manchester and London, I thought that it would be important and appropriate for me to write this post.

The Oxford Dictionary describes terrorism as "the unlawful use of violence and intimidation, especially against civilians, in the pursuit of political aims", it is a way of dividing people to perhaps control them. Terrorists want to create widespread fear, but from the recent attacks, the UK did the contrary: we united together in hope. Whilst both attacks have caused much grief among families and friends, people in Manchester and London came together to help those in need. In Manchester, strangers were offering victims a place to stay for the night, and taxi drivers helped families look for loved ones who were at the concert - in London, people tried to save the lives of those who were either hit by the van or were stabbed. If we had let fear consume and control us all, we wouldn't run into danger helping those who are injured. These 'terrorists' think that they can divide us, weaken us even - but we stand strong. I think that this was especially highlighted in the 'One Love Manchester' concert that Ariana Grande held in memory of those who were unfortunately killed or severely injured in the attack. Even in London, everyone came together to hold a moment of silence for those who were unnecessarily killed in the London Bridge attack. Seeing people unite together brought hope back into my heart in this dark time, and hope, as well as love, is all we need - not hate.

I had briefly met one of the victims of the Manchester attack at an event in 2016. Her name was Georgina and she was eighteen-years-old when she had her future taken from her. When I found out that she was one of the victims, my heart broke - and it broke even more after more victims were announced, especially when the youngest victim was eight. All of the victims had their futures taken from them in an awful attack that shouldn't have even happened, may they all be resting in Heaven
peacefully.

But this leads me on to another thing: Islamophobia. More and more people have started to become more malicious towards Muslims, as there has been a sudden rise in prejudice against them. Just because one is Muslim, doesn't mean that they are a member of so-called ISIS or that they are a terrorist themselves. They are ordinary people who do not deserve to have insults or violence directed at them - and as Rameza Bhatti from Huffpost states "just because this man calls himself a Muslim, and probably has a beard, doesn’t mean that he is practising Islam. Just because he cries “Allah is great” before committing a bloody attack, doesn’t mean he represents (her) religion". We should all try to eradicate this prejudice against Muslims because Islam does not mean terrorism. 

To sum up, we all need to unite together in these dark times to show these 'terrorists' that whilst their attacks are immoral, we stand strong together unafraid. Be safe and be aware.

I think it is also appropriate to include this song by Todrick Hall, as I think it sums up my main feelings about terrorism, and it fits in with the message of this post.

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I Feel Like a Woman

Over the last week I started reading The Gender Games by Juno Dawson (I'll be reviewing it on my blog on Monday so keep an eye out!) and as I was reading, I was suddenly overwhelmed with thoughts and thus I decided that I needed to write them down, which is what I am trying to do in this post here.

This is NOT a review of the book.

This is NOT a comment on any of the contents in the book either.

It is merely a post that was inspired by the book. Because as I was reading it, it felt like someone was talking directly to me and telling me things that I needed to hear, for years. It is everything I have known deep down but haven't really been able to put into words myself.

And that is how I feel about being a female. 

In my bio it says: "for a large part of my life, I've felt different from the majority of the female population" - this is still so true and I wanted to use this blog to explore these feelings. And then I stumbled across this book and it suddenly makes sense.

I have always known very firmly that I am a woman. There is absolutely nothing inside me that wants to be a man.

BUT

I do not feel like a female.

And as Juno Dawson explains much better than I ever could, what I mean by this is that I do not feel like the society construct of a female. I do not fit in with the terms that are used to describe being feminine.

- girlish
- make-up lover
- emotional
- sweet
- cute
- likes dresses and skirts
- likes fashion
- likes gossip

And so on and so forth.

Instead I like to believe that I'm not exactly boyish but I do believe I have a lot of "male" qualities to my personality.

But these things are only male qualities because society says they are. They are not what actually makes you a man.

And thus I feel a little better within myself. Because maybe I won't be accepted by society but I am accepted by my friends and I now understand myself further. Having male quirks to my personality doesn't make me a man or even make me close to being a man, it simply means that I am who I am.

And I'm pretty much okay with that.

So thank you Juno for helping me to realize that there is nothing wrong with me - or anyone else for that matter.

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