Now that I'm 26

Last Friday it was my birthday, technically I was born 5 days early so today *should* have been my birthday if I'd not been so terribly eager twenty-six years ago. I have to say I'm not sure how I feel about being 26, I'm now past the quarter century and I'm kinda worried that I still don't feel like I have all my shit together. Heck, I *know* I'm a mess but I'd rather like for it not to be so obvious to everyone else.

This cake kinda represents my life rn

Some of my fav Youtube humans have done wonderful videos on their birthdays called "X things I have learned in X years" depending on whether they're turning 24, 25 or 26 etc. Rosianna Halse Rojas did this one last year, Lex Croucher did hers earlier this year and Charlie McDonnell did his last week when he turned 26 (it's odd to think he's only 6 days older than me).

I'm not doing a similar list today, mostly because my memory is sufficiently terrible that I don't think I can string together 26 things that the last quarter century and a smidge have taught me.

Instead I'm going to list 26 Hopes I have for the next year.

Now I'm 26 I hope...
1. That the world doesn't end in November (I know I'm not the only one)
2. That I am able to complete my degree by next July.
3. That I can get a 2:1 in that degree
4. That I can get a job I enjoy & which isn't a chore to get up for
5. That I can figure out what is going on with my health
6. That I can then start to feel better
7. That I can have lots of fun adventures with my friends
8. That I can also have lots of adventures with my OH
9. That we can properly celebrate 5 years together next June
10. That my loved ones are safe and happy
11. That I have the ability to finish a worthy draft of my book
12. That I have the courage to share that book with others
13. That I can find the magic to write another book
14. That I can meet & befriend more like-minded people
15. That I can be a good friend to those in my life already
16. That I can become a better person than I am today.
17. That I can feel happy with the choices I make
18. That I can feel happy in my body & my head
19. That I can learn to be kinder to myself
20. That I can find the passion to pursue my dreams
21. That I can weather the knock-backs during that pursuit
22. That I read books that inspire me
23. That I can meet some more of my favourite authors
24. That I remember to be grateful for everything I have
25. That I always tell those who matter to me how much I appreciate them.
26. I hope that my 27th birthday will be spent with those I love.

So that's a rather eclectic mix of things that I hope will come to pass during the next year of my life. I know some of those are dependent on chance & opportunity but many of them will only be possible if I make them happen myself. I have be more active in creating my own happiness. No one is going to just give me the spell to magic my life into its best possible configuration. I'm going to have to work for it. So next time you see me bitching about "why isn't x, y or z happening?" ask me if I've actually *done* anything to make it a reality.

Now I'm 26... maybe I need to start acting like it. (at least in some respects, there's no need to go full-blown grown-up y'know?)

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Feel The Fear

Feel the fear and do it anyway.

It’s one of those quotes that you hear time and time again (especially as an anxious person) and after a while it just becomes words that you hear rather than a sentence with real meaning. 

The words began to drift over my head, so used was I to feeling the fear and not doing it anyway because: fear.

I did something a bit crazy on Friday. 

I went for a job interview. 

The first job interview I’ve had in over a year. 

The first job interview I’ve had since I had a minor blip in my mental health (read: yearlong battle with agoraphobia.)

I did it.

I actually did something that scared me shitless.

And I survived.

I’d love the job, it’s perfect for me in an environment that I feel safe and calm in. (A university bookshop. Books, bookish people, BLISS.)  But if I don’t get the job then I won’t be sad for long because in having the interview I’ve reminded myself that I am strong, brave, independent, knowledgeable, polite and friendly; in fact for the first time in a long time I finally felt genuine, smile inducing, tummy dancing pride in myself. And that’s rare. But it’s beautiful.

There’s nothing like feeling proud of yourself and not needing to seek validation for that feeling from anyone but yourself. I walked out of the interview with the hugest grin on my face, an extra bounce in my step and a happy heart. Not only had I crushed my anxiety, I’d also managed to have a good interview. (well, good in my opinion anyway!) And I finally had ammunition to fire at the negative voices in my head; they couldn’t get a word in!

I felt the fear and I did it anyway.

Don’t get me wrong…I was shaking with fear as I was eating my breakfast on Friday morning. I kept thinking I needed a wee on the journey there. I had a dry mouth as I approached reception to inform them I had arrived. But then as soon as I was greeted by a bookseller to show me around, something happened inside of me and I just felt this almost serene calm wash over me. I could do this. I had the knowledge, the passion, the experience for the job. I could only do my very best; that’s all anyone can ever do. And even though I was still a little anxious (a normal, understandable level of nerves before an interview) I wasn’t overwhelmed by the feelings that often plague me. For once I felt in control of my anxiety.

And I think the main reason why so many anxious people can't feel the fear and do it anyway is because we have such low levels of self-confidence and self-esteem. We underestimate our ability to cope, we’re told by people around us that we need to stop letting the anxiety control our lives and we feel like we’re drowning in a sea of failure. And it’s hard, so hard, to get out of that pattern of thinking. To take a step outside of the comfort zone and think, ‘I’m going to try this.’

It’s never easy to put yourself into a position where there’s a possibility of failure.

But when you do, it can be so rewarding.

I’m by no means ‘cured’ but I am on the road to recovery. I am slowly widening my boundaries again, taking time to remind myself that I can do whatever I put my mind to, telling myself that I need to live my best life and not let stupid adrenaline and annoying thoughts get in the way.

And I’m doing it for me. 

No one else. 

Not my family or my friends. 

For me.

If you suffer with anxiety and you feel like you can’t feel the fear and do it anyway, trust me, you can.

Build slowly up to it, take small steps, reward yourself every time you succeed. Keep moving forward as slowly as you need to. Remind yourself that YOU are in control. Think of the life you want to lead and keep striving for it. Remind yourself you’re brave and strong and amazing. Don’t let fear steal your life from you.

BE BRAVE.

Feel the fear and do it anyway. 

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Milestones

One thing I hate about the way we’ve grown accustomed to living life is to measure it in milestones.

Birthdays, engagements, moving out, getting a job, getting married, having a baby…they’re all huge signposts in life that seem to be what most people strive for. However sometimes it becomes a little overwhelming and the small, more important milestones go by unnoticed by most people.

I wish there was a social media site for those with mental health problems where we could be brutally honest. Can you imagine the status updates?!

Got out of bed today. #winning

Didn’t die after making a phone call. #lifegoals

Managed to go the whole day without binging and purging. #gome

Wouldn’t it be great if we felt the freedom and courage to share such important milestones to everyone else? But it’s hard because to ‘everyone else’ getting out of bed or making a phone call or eating food and then not making themselves sick after it are things they do without even really thinking about it. They don’t see these things as milestones because they’re just normal, everyday occurrences for them.

Instead we have social media where people constantly aim to share their best lives…the best selfies, the coolest status updates about what they’re doing, pictures of an engagement ring, bragging about holidays booked, showing off their relationship, baby pictures…

And we all do it. I do it. I use my Facebook page to share my best life but it’s not a very accurate representation of my real life at all.

This time last year I was in a horrendous place. I couldn’t get out of bed in the mornings without panicking, I couldn’t leave my bedroom – even going to the toilet was enough to send me into a panic attack. I found it almost impossible to walk down the stairs and spend time downstairs in my house. I couldn’t have a bath; instead I’d have to quickly wash at the sink because it minimised the time I had to spend away from my safe place. I was going through an incredibly tough time.

When I compare that to now, I have achieved SO much. I get out of bed every day and get dressed. I can spend time anywhere in the house now without my anxiety become overwhelming. I have a bath every day. I spend time in the garden. Last Friday I went out to my nan and grandad’s house (over 20 minutes away) for dinner and I didn’t die. I’ve walked round the block a few times.

And in my world, in my small little Laura world, these things are fucking giant milestones. But the trouble is because they’re so small’ and insignificant to ‘most people’ in the world, they’re not seen as milestones at all. It’s all just me being lazy or still not having a job yet or not leaving the house.

Because I haven’t shared every single minute of my recovery on social media, people don’t know what I’ve managed to achieve in this past year. They don’t know that I’ve overcome suicidal thoughts,  that I’ve gone from being incredibly frightened to be in the same room as someone else to being comfortable in a room of eight or nine people, that having an hour long bath routine is an achievement after previously being too scared to even put a foot in the bath.

‘Normal’ people take having a bath for granted or not realising that being able to walk out their front door without fear is something I long to be able to do every day. No one congratulates them on doing it because it’s just not a big thing for most people. Whereas marriage and babies and holidays are…they’re the things that people share about their lives on the internet.

My therapist used to call it the compare and despair mechanism. I’d compare myself to someone on social media and despair that my life wasn’t like theirs. She used to tell me that nothing you see on social media is trustworthy. You know that what everyone shares are the best moments…the things they want to show off or get likes for or get validation about to make themselves feel better.

And it’s true. And a lot of the time it makes me wish I could delete Facebook and Twitter and Instagram and just live a stripped back, less technology dependant life. Wouldn’t it be amazing to just go back to speaking to people on the phone or via text when you needed them? Sharing news face to face instead of seeing it pop up on your timeline and ‘liking’ it.

The main reasons I don’t delete my accounts are

1. FOMO (because god forbid something happening that I don’t get to like or react to because I don’t have social media)

2. Communication (how will I be able to interact with friends I only have online? How can I talk to people about books I’ve loved or things I’ve enjoyed?)

And I hate that I’ve become so reliant on social media!!! I hate that I spend my life comparing myself to others. That I seek validation through the number of likes I get on a status update or a tweet. Why have I conditioned myself to care so much about what other people think about me? (I mean, this is a whole other topic!) Sorry I love a tangent.

But, in all seriousness, we need to stop feeling like we are failing because we are not hitting the milestones other people seem to be reaching before us. We each have our own story to write, our own path to take and we all move along it at different times and in a way that suits us. Just because three people have got married on Facebook this week alone, doesn’t mean that you managing to get dressed today isn’t an incredible milestone in itself.

So whenever I see gorgeous people getting married, shiny sparkly rings, baby scan photos, sandy white beaches and skinny bodies encased in expensive bikinis I know that these people are reaching their own milestones. And that’s awesome for them. But I’m also reaching my milestones and I’m growing and learning and getting better every day and that’s what’s important. So what if people think that my life is boring and I’m lazy and whatever crap they want to think…I know the truth, the struggles that I’ve managed to face and overcome. And I’m proud of myself for that.

And you should be too. You should be proud of all the milestones you manage to hit regardless of how silly they might sound to other people.

And, just to make you feel better here’s the Facebook update I’d love to publish right now:

Today was a mix of good and bad. I sat in the sun for most of the day reading a book but I also was really scared the sun was making my head too heavy and that it was going to make me collapse and die because it was so hot. And then I spent a good while overthinking a lot of things and wondering if actually I’m a good person and then I looked at myself in the mirror and thought ‘oh god, I’m gross’. Then I had a bath and got into bed and was going to do lots of productive writing but I was too lethargic to do anything so I just lie naked like a beached whale in front of a fan wondering if I’m living my best life. 

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Letters To Our Sixteen Year Old Selves

Hindsight is a wonderful thing and I’m sure that we all have things we wish we could go back in time and tell our past selves. So today I’ve pitched the question to the Safe Space team:

If given the chance what would you tell your sixteen year old self?

Older and wiser maybe now we have the perfect advice to give to our younger selves now that we know the outcome of the experiences that we were struggling to navigate at sixteen years old and perhaps there is somebody out there reading this in a similar situation looking for some guidance too.

~ Jess ~

Dear Jess,
If I could travel back in time and give you a massive hug right now I would, because I know you could really do with one. I know you feel scared and alone, the wonderful boyfriend who was so lovely to you at the start of your relationship has been not so wonderful lately. I’d love to be able to say that things will get easier soon and that it’ll all be over but you’re going to have to be brave for a while longer. I can promise though that the right time and perfect opportunity will come for you to leave this relationship and you’ll do it safely without ever looking back. These dark times will end. 

The friends in your life who you think are so important now won’t be ten years down the line. Don’t worry so much about what they think and say, they’re not part of your future. At this moment in time you’ll find yourself wanting to be independant from your family but don’t push them too far. Family is more important than you realise right now. Try to let them in more. As grown up as you feel you don’t know everything about the world and still need your parents.

Soon a big, beautiful, black dog will be joining your family. You have no idea how much he will come to help you in the years to come. This furry bundle of joy will become your closest companion, he’ll make you laugh every day and will cuddle up to you when you’re sad. Give him a big hug from me. Treasure the time you have with him.

Your love of books will literally save your life, on some days being able to escape to another world will be all that keeps you going. Keep reading, writing and sharing your passion for books. Following that path that you love will lead you to the brightest parts of your life. You will literally meet the best people you know because of them including your best friend who will understand you in ways you can not begin to imagine a person ever could.

At the moment you don’t feel very strong. You feel panicky, afraid and sad all of the time. Talk to your family, go to the doctor, fight for your right to be seen by a mental health professional. You’re not crazy and although you’re in denial about how you feel right now I promise that it’s nothing to be ashamed of and that with the right help you will start to feel better.

Take time out to reflect and think, in doing so you are rebuilding yourself to be the best version of you. From this very young age you will come to learn what you do and what you don’t want from life. You will learn empathy and compassion because of what you’ve been through and it will turn you into a kinder person who just wants to make the world a better place than when you found it. You will get to a point where you are proud of who you are and will love the life you have built for yourself because it is one that you have chosen and not one somebody else has told you that you should want.

Instead of looking down and being certain that if you jump you will fall, believe that if you spread your wings and take a leap of faith you will fly.

Stay strong, stay safe and stay hopeful.

Love, Jess x

~ Laura ~ 

Dear Laura,
It’s future you writing to past you…nifty huh?! I guess I have so much I want to say to you about what the future holds, what you have to look forward to, the things you’ll learn the people you’ll meet the experiences you’ll have…but you’ll get to those in good time.

What I really want to say to you is this: don’t ever stop loving yourself. You are one of the strongest, bravest and kindest people. Think of everything you’ve had to endure over the past few years and look how you’ve come through the other side. I wish I could lie to you and tell you that the future is perfect but it’s not. There will be plenty of heartbreak thanks to some rubbish men, there will be moments when you don’t think you can keep going, there will be many tears shed, many moments spent wondering why life isn’t going the way you thought it would. But the best part? You never ever give up.

Because there are some amazing times to come too. Some beautiful moments that you’ll never forget, nights spent in the arms of someone you love, days spent enjoying the simple pleasures of life, there’ll be books to read, songs to sing, friends to make and lessons to learn. But you must remember to keep loving yourself. Don’t let other people make you feel less than you are. Don’t allow someone else’s happiness to come before your own. Be selfish sometimes, take time to love yourself, make people aware that you’re pretty damn awesome.

And most of all stay kind. Keep smiling at strangers, help those less fortunate, take time to listen and remember everyone has their own battles to fight.

Stay strong and believe in yourself. Make mistakes, learn from them. Make beautiful memories, treasure them. Fall in love, enjoy it. Follow your dreams. Be brave, take chances, enjoy every second.
Life is never going to go the way you think it will but that’s ok. Life is unexpected and crazy and amazing and you’ll rock it.

Keep smiling gorgeous girl; never let anyone dull your shine. And on those days when you feel worthless or you don’t know what anyone could ever see in you, remind yourself that things will get better because they can and they will.

The future is yours to write so make it whatever you want to be. I’m so proud of you and of who you’ll become and I can’t wait for you to experience all the things you will.

Never regret anything that once made you smile.
Keep rocking it girl xxxx

~  Faye ~

Dear Faye,
It’s Faye here, from 10 years in the future. I’m writing to you today to help you get through this year, and the ones to follow it - because you do get through them.

This year you’ve made a big leap. You’ve left school and are heading to College with no friends but that’s okay because on your first day you’ll meet Jen and she will introduce you to an amazing group of people including your best friend, who is still your friend today.

College is going to be tough. I don’t want to scare you but you will lose your secondary school friends but that’s okay. I know you will hurt and feel replaced and it will make you feel useless and worthless but you are not these things. She wasn’t worth your amazing friendship and she is not worth your tears.

Over the coming years you are going to be faced with a lot of challenges and heartbreak but also love, happiness and hope. Because that is life in a nutshell. Swings and roundabouts.

This moment in your life is hard and scary but it is all worth it because at the end of it all you have a pretty good life with amazing supportive friends, an exciting business and living away from home. It’s still not perfect but because you’ve had experiences of hard times, you know you’ll get through this too.

So stay strong, keep smiling, and don’t let life knock you back too far.

 ~ Lily ~

Dear Lily,
It’s you, 5 years from the future! Pretty cool huh?! And boy do I have some things to say to you. First of all, I want to give you the biggest hug, even though you probably don’t want it or think you deserve it. You have been absolutely incredible in the past year. Don’t even doubt it for a second. Mum would be SO proud.

First things first, I know you’re nervous about starting a new sixth form. You know that group of friends from scouts you sometimes talk to? They’re going to take you under your wing and be the best friends you’ve ever had. It might be awkward at first because you haven’t known them as long as they’ve all known each other, but give it time. Get to know them, let them listen, and don’t be afraid to be who you are with them. You’re still all talking today even though you live all over the country.

Be kind to yourself. When it’s all too much, get out of school and make sure you pamper yourself. I know therapy isn’t the right answer for you right now, but in a few years it will be. And it will help you so much, you wouldn’t even believe. Don’t be afraid to rant to your friends, especially those who you talk to on the internet. They are some of the kindest, most wonderful people you’ll ever meet.

Keep an open mind at school. The subject you think you hate right now might just be the one that you end up wanting to study. Oh, and that gap year you want to do? PLEASE take it, and don’t feel pressured to go straight to University. You’ve been through so much these past few years and you need to take some time to go through it. Get through your A Levels, and then have a nice rest. You’ve earned it.

I want you to know that you’re about to embark on some of the best years of your life. You’ll get to watch the sunset by a Welsh lake with all your friends, you’ll get to travel all over Europe and climb up a Swiss mountain. Those Camp America websites you’ve been looking at? You get to do that too. And it’s one of the most eye-opening experiences you’ve ever had. Keep an open mind though, and work bloody hard when you’re there.

And above everything else, I want you to know that it’s okay to cry. It’s okay to feel sad and anxious and scared and nostalgic. It’s okay to miss her. I miss her too. Never feel like you have to hold in your emotions for anyone. You’re going to realise something about yourself soon, and everything will make sense. Embrace it and love it, I know it’s hard. You are so brave and wonderful and you have so much to look forward to. Be brave and take chances, but when it’s all too much don’t be afraid to say no. Remember to look after yourself.

Keep smiling and keep going. It gets better, I promise.

Love, Lily x

~ Louise ~

Dear Louise,
I’m here to tell you not to panic. Everything feels like it’s not going to plan at the moment doesn’t it? You know you have something that makes you different to all the other girls your age and you feel alone and afraid but it does get better. You’ll find out soon that this is a common problem and treatable; so very treatable. Worrying about the future – the kind of future when you get dizzy from thinking it’s so far away but it’s going to come around so quickly – isn’t healthy. Focusing on YOU and being happy is a much better use of your energy.

Please don’t push away those people who care about you. They will leave – albeit temporarily – but it will take many unnecessary years and more pain to get them back; to build the relationship and friendship you’ve always wanted.

You’re now 28 and twelve years have gone by so fast and being sixteen with these problems pale in retrospect. You will become a great survivor and will endure so much more than you think possible. But don’t panic. You have it in you, even when you’re in the depths of depression and doubting your every fibre. You have got this down. This is just the beginning of the adventures... You’re going to love them!

Love and hugs,
Lou x

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Life Turns On A Dime

There’s a saying: ‘life can turn on a dime’.

And in the past few weeks I’ve never understood this phrase more. I got dumped. I suddenly fell in love with exercise. My diet is literally the sort of diet I used to think was grim as hell. I am pushing myself to deal with my anxiety. From where I was a month ago my life is completely different in so many ways. And it shocks me how fast we can change the direction of our lives, whether it’s through our own choice or someone else’s.

And it got me thinking. If you could change anything about your life what would it be? Would you be healthier? Would you be braver? What would you change? What’s something you desperately want?

And then think about this…

What is it that is stopping you from doing it?

Yourself?

Others?

Society?

Now think again, if you take away the boundaries that YOU set for yourself. The boundaries that people who know you set around you. The boundaries that society sets…

NOW what’s stopping you?

I’mma guess nothing.

Because the only reasons we stop ourselves from doing the things we REALLY want to do is because we allow these boundaries to act as immovable walls.

NO.

PUSH THROUGH THEM.

Want to be healthier? Teach yourself self-love, self-compassion and treat your body like the temple it fucking is. People telling you that you’ll fail? You’re not good at sticking to things? Tell them to get out and go and sort their own problems out before they start passing judgement on you. Society telling you you’ll never be as hot as all the sexy women of the world? Even if you’re healthy you’ll never be like them? SCREW THAT.

DON’T LET ANYTHING STAND IN YOUR WAY.

So often we think we can’t do things because we tell ourselves we can’t and then people we know and society help validate those feelings of inadequacy. And then we think ‘I can’t do it so I’m not going to even try.’

For YEARS I’ve thought I’d NEVER be able to lose weight and that I’d just have to accept I’d always be fat. And people just sort of perpetuated those feelings…’you’re not very good at sticking to healthy eating’ etc. But I got an exercise bike, some weights and started to eat less processed food and suddenly I realise that I CAN lose weight. I CAN get fitter, stronger, healthier. And that’s because I smashed through the wall. When I was using my exercise bike, looking like a fat whale, sweat dripping off me and a red face I was like ‘this is gonna be pointless because I’ll never be sexy or thin or strong’ and then I was like ‘NO WAIT. I WILL BE. I CAN BE.’ And I kept pedaling and that was my metaphorical wall that I knocked down. I realised that the only thing that EVER stopped me from achieving what I wanted was ME. And my fear of being laughed at or failing or never getting there.

But you know, isn’t it worth trying? Isn’t it worth failing than never trying at all? Isn’t it worth taking a hammer to the wall? You might not get through to the other side first time but every time you try you make those bricks looser and soon you’ll find you get through that wall.

Make a decision, let life change on a dime for you. Do something you never thought you could.

You’ll surprise yourself. 

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When You Think You Can't... You Probably Can

I have had a really difficult couple of weeks. I’m coming to the end of two years of therapy and, as someone with tough past experiences of endings, I’ve been dreading it. Then, after my psychologist and I were slowly beginning to put plans into place as to how we would spend our remaining weeks together, my care coordinator announced that she would be leaving. I sobbed and sobbed. This was less because of sadness and more because I didn’t think I could cope with it. I had already told myself that I wouldn’t manage the end of therapy, so doubling what I would have to deal with surely meant catastrophe. But, you know what? I have proved myself wrong.

The endings I’m so anxious about are still to come, so I can’t predict exactly what I will be like when they happen. However, what I have been able to do is put strategies in place that allow me to cope in the moment. In spite of initially thinking that the future was enough to tip me over the edge, I told myself that I would cope. I honestly believe that, in life, we generally have a say over whether we cope or not, as well as what we use to do so. That’s not to say that we manage without the help of others or that we don’t become recluses for a time when we’re wracked with anxiety. But in my choice to cope, because the alternative was a downward spiral that would mean hospital admission or worse, I took back some of the control that I felt I had lost. I couldn’t stop the NHS from limiting my therapy to two years or my care coordinator getting a new job. I can choose to live my life though and to make decisions that make that life worth living. I can tell myself that I can turn my future into what I want it to be, whether that be having a career or a family or going travelling.

Two days after I was told of my care coordinator’s imminent departure, I was due to meet fellow Safe Space writers, Jo and Faye. I haven’t been in a social environment where I would be meeting and chatting to people in two years. Anxiety has grown so big in my mind that I had convinced myself that I would never again be able to meet people: they wouldn’t like me, I would say something stupid, it would just be too much for me. Perhaps it’s because I felt I had nothing to lose after the week I was having, but I went to London and met Jo and Faye and… it was brilliant! I was without a doubt that meeting people was never something I was going to manage and, once again, I was proved wrong.

If the last fortnight has taught me anything, it is that even when I am utterly convinced that something is impossible, that it’s not something I can survive and that I’m not resilient enough to cope with it, life so often has other ideas. There is very little that I can’t do. I won’t be Queen of England, nor will I be an international athlete. But when life hits as hard as it can and often in unexpected ways, I find a strength that I didn’t know I had and I become creative in discovering ways of coping.

This isn’t a post for me to big myself up and say, “Look what I can do.” It’s to say, “Look at what we all can do.” I have put off so many opportunities because of the messages of fear I was telling myself. Perhaps you’re doing the same – avoiding meeting people who could become great friends, not going to an interview because you decide you would never be good enough for the job, dreading the future because it looks so much bigger than your limited emotional resources. But I truly believe that you can.

Sometimes we need the support of others, whether it be friends or therapists; sometimes we need to take time to cry because a relationship is ending; sometimes we may feel terrified when we try something new. But that’s okay. It doesn’t matter how we get there. It just matters that we get there in the end. So as I dare myself to take greater leaps of faith and to trust in my own capacity to cope, I wonder if you will join me. What do you tell yourself you can’t do? Maybe it’s time to see that you can.

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