Thanks for the Memories

When one door closes, another opens.

There will always be light at the end of the tunnel.

Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if only one remembers to turn on the light.

You can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.

In case you are somehow unaware of the fact; break ups suck. Be they break ups out of a relationship or a friendship. Some part of your soul gets a little bit crushed and it can sometimes be hard to see a way out of the darkness that suddenly surrounds you.

Recently I let one of my friends go. That's the easiest way to describe it. Things between us had been strained for a while and after a lot of thinking, I made the decision that the hurt I was feeling, was not okay. I shouldn't have to feel this way. Friends should be there for each other, ready to shoulder us, to let us shoulder them, to protect us and to love us. Friendships should be easy. Yes, there may be fights and arguments but there should also be love and fun and happiness.

When that stops, when things turn sour, it's time to just move on. It doesn't mean that I no longer care. It doesn't mean that I regret my decision. But it does mean that I've decided enough is enough. It means that I realize that our friendship had run it's course and it was time to start on a new journey.

I know letting someone go is not easy. But you have to be willing to lose someone else before losing yourself.

Moving on isn't about not loving someone anymore and forgetting them. It's about having the strength to say I still love you, but you're not worth this pain. 

But I don't like dwelling on the negatives, so today I wanted to write a little post - which I'm sure this friend will never even see - that is about how even though we're no longer friends, I'm glad we were. I'm glad that I got close to you and that we got to spend some time together. I'm glad that we had fun and we had laughter, we had tears and we had hugs. Our friendship was a good one and one that helped me out a lot and one that I truly treasured - and in some respects always will.

I'm sorry that it's over now. I'm sorry that we couldn't make it work. But I know that where we are now is the best decision for us. I hope that the future for you will be bright. I hope that you get closer to the friends you have and create new friendships with other wonderful people who help to lift your spirit and keep you smiling. I wish you the best in life. I always have.

So thank you. Thank you for being my friend and for letting me share some time in your life. Thank you for spending some time in mine. We had some good times together that I will always remember fondly. And I will do that. I will remember the good times, not the bad times. Because I know we never meant to hurt each other. We did and it's done but maybe we can both just continue on with our lives now, learning to be better and loving others in a way we no longer can love each other.

Thank you for the memories.

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What Is Love? (Baby Don't Hurt Me)

I haven’t really got the right work/life balance yet.

So I apologise for my tardiness and shall strive to become slightly less rubbish at getting posts up on time.

Anyway, aside from my inability to juggle everything effectively there’s one thing that has been on my mind lately. And that’s love.

I went to see Bridget Jones on Friday evening with a few friends and I found myself crying at the end of the film; not through sadness but genuine, heart-pounding, stomach-spinning happiness. If you haven’t seen the film yet then I don’t want to spoil it but it doesn’t give anything away if I mention that Bridget gets her Happy Ever After.

Since then I’ve been thinking about the whole notion of love and happy-ever-afters and getting myself thoroughly stressed out by the whole thing.

I don’t believe that there’s one person out there for us all; I think it’s naïve to believe we can only ever find one other person on the entire planet who is meant for us. But I also believe that true love isn’t easy to come by. In my twenty three years I’ve been lucky enough to be in love twice. People often say ‘how can you love more than one person?’ ‘what is love anyway?’ ‘how do you know you’ve ever been in love?’

Tricky questions but the beauty of love is that it’s completely subjective to the person who is feeling it. The love I’ve had for two of my partners wasn’t the same. I loved them fiercely but in different ways because they were different people. During both relationships I was content and confident enough to know that I would happily spend the rest of my life with them by my side. (It wasn’t to be, I’m great at getting dumped but still the sentiment remains that when you know, you know.)

Sometimes love isn’t meant to last, sometimes it’s fleeting and beautiful and you have to make the most of it. But I’ve got to an age where I want to find something long term and settle down and find my forever person who I can grow old with. People scoff when I say I feel like I’m running out of time to find someone. ‘You’re only 23’ ‘you’re so young’ etc but age doesn’t matter. When you feel like you’re ready to settle down, you’re ready, whatever age you are.

When my relationship broke up earlier this year I was left in a sort of blind panic about my future. I, stupidly, was convinced that I’d found my forever person already and that I’d never have to worry about first dates again or worry about finding someone who could deal with my weirdness. And suddenly to find myself single with the prospect of having to one day get back into the dating game made me feel completely nauseous. 

I’m slowly feeling less terrified about the whole thing but I still don’t feel like I’m ready to let someone into my life again in that way. And that’s the inner turmoil in my head right now. I want to settle down and find someone but at the same time I’m scared of letting someone into my life again in case they too walk out.

And watching Bridget Jones made me think that everything happens for a reason; what’s meant to be will be. Perhaps I have to stop worrying and stressing about my love life, perhaps the moment I least expect it is the moment I’ll find my future husband. *crosses fingers* Or perhaps I just need to remind myself I’m 23 and I have plenty of time to settle down.

There’s so much pressure from other people my age who are getting married and having kids and it scares me knowing that my own parents were already married by my age. It feels like there’s a timer ticking down to the moment when it’s too late for me to find my happy ever after but I mean, if Bridget Jones can find her happy ending then I can, right?!

There’s so much emphasis on love and relationships in the modern world and you can’t go a day without seeing something that makes your heart sink a little when you realise you don’t have anyone to cuddle up to at night or talk to about your day or snuggle and watch a film with. I love being single and the freedom that comes with it but there are always moments in my day that I wish I could share with someone, or text them about and it’s always nice to know you have someone waiting with a hug for you at the end of the day.

NOW I’M JUST BEING DEPRESSING.

Soz.

But I'm not the only twenty-something panicking about never settling down and being destined for the life of a crazy cat lady, right?! 

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Pink Power

This week has been a shit week but has reminded me how much Elle Woods is my hero.

She is one badass woman who gives every other woman the chance to feel empowered when really all they want to do is curl up in a ball and cry.

I thought today I’d share my favourite Elle Woods quotes from the movies and musical that might give you a little boost when you’re feeling down or give you some extra motivation when you need it most. I must admit I am a HUGE Legally Blonde fan. I know the movie off by heart and I may have seen the musical twice…

When representing her Delta Nu alumni client, Brooke, Elle brings up a very important fact about exercise:

I just don't think that Brooke could've done this. Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don't shoot their husbands, they just don't.

Lesson learnt here: exercise makes you happy AND can also keep those feelings of hate at bay.

***

When a scheming saleswoman tries to sell Elle a dodgy dress for her engagement dinner:

It's impossible to use a half-loop stitching on low-viscosity rayon. It would snag the fabric. And you didn't just get it in - I saw it in the June Vogue a year ago. So if you're trying to sell it to me for full price, you've picked the wrong girl.

Lesson learnt here: don’t take shit from no one. Stand up for yourself and trust your instinct and own intelligence.

***

Being true to yourself never goes out of style.

PREACH DAT GURL.

***

When Warner realises the error of his ways and comes grovelling back to Elle:

Though I dreamed of this day long ago,

Now my answer is thank you, but no.

Look, I've barely begun; I'm hardly through...

I was living in ignorant bliss,

'Til I learned I could be more than this! (Gestures to her hair.)

And, you know, in a way I owe it all to you!

I though losing your love was a blow I could never withstand...

Look how far I have come without anyone holding my hand.

I had to find my way.

Lesson learnt here: always remember that things will get better; even if it hurts at first, you will find that in time everything falls into place again and you can learn to live a new way. Heartbreak doesn’t have to equal misery.

Basically if you’re feeling shit, get a duvet, a bar of chocolate and watch Elle Woods kick some ass. Cos it’ll make you feel a million times better. Fact. 

I'm off to do exactly that. 

BEND AND FUCKING SNAP. 

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