Guaranteed Smiles

Recently I’ve found myself having a series of bad days. Whether due to my mental health, a loved one being ill or the sadness of current world events, over the last few months day after day I’ve found myself feeling low. Then a few weeks ago, I came to the realization that the things I’ve been feeling sad about I can’t change, not really. So I started thinking about what I could change. If I can’t change the sad things that are currently going on in my life and in the world then maybe I can create more happiness to try and balance things out a little.

So I took out my journal and made a list of all of the things that are guaranteed to make me smile and since then I’ve made it a personal goal to do as many of the things on this list as I can when I feel sad. It doesn’t solve any problems, and it doesn’t make the bad things go away but it does steady my mood and helps me to recognise the good things in my life. So today I wanted to share with you my list of Guaranteed Smiles, I’d really encourage any of you to write your own list and put those little rays of happiness into action during those times when life gets dark.

Get Some Fresh Air – Whether taking a short walk, sitting in my garden or simply opening up the windows of my house, getting some fresh air into my lungs helps clear the cobwebs of my mind and makes it easier to breathe when I’m feeling anxious.

Do Something Nice For Someone – This can be something as simple as making someone a cup of tea, paying them a compliment, or buying them a little gift just because. Doing something nice for somebody else makes them happy and in my experience is the most natural way of making myself feel happy in return.

Feel Good Reads- Reading is one of the easiest ways to escape the world for a little while and when I’m feeling sad I like to read something feel good to cheer myself up. Two books that have made me smile recently are You Know Me Well by David Levithan and Nina LaCour and The Plumberry School of Comfort Food by Cathy Bramley.

Pizza – Pizza solves everything.

Surprise Yourself by Jack Garratt – I absolutely love this song and always listen to it on days when I don’t feel like I can cope. The music video for this is incredible, it follows a group of people doing something they didn’t think they could do, if you haven’t watched it yet then you should!

Fresh Flowers – If I’m having a bad mental health day I find it hard to leave my house and so having fresh flowers in my room allows me to bring a little bit of outside in. I usually choose bright colours that will really catch my eye and brighten my space.

Meg – My little dog is such a goofball. She loves life and seeing her play and explore the world always makes me happy.

Pamper Evenings – Sometimes feeling good on the outside helps me to feel better on the inside too. Looking after my body and treating it to some me-time makes me feel great and gives me space to mentally get my thoughts together.

Making Fun Plans – This is a big one for me. Having something on the horizon to look forward to be it a day out or hanging out with friends gives me something good to focus on. Knowing something fun is coming up in the future makes getting through a hard day that little bit easier.

Red Velvet Cake – The ultimate comfort food.

Lighting a Candle – There is something so peaceful about flickering candlelight and if the candle has a beautiful scent even better.

Twitter Favourites – I usually favourite things on Twitter that have made me laugh, have given me faith in the world, or have made me feel valued and loved. Scrolling through a great big list of lovely things that other people have said really cheers me up.

Writing My WIP – I’m currently working on a Women’s Fiction project set in the countryside at Christmas. This WIP contains so many of my favourite things and features characters that I love. Writing it sweeps me away to a place that I love spending time in. It’s also nice to play God and to be able to take control of the world and characters for a while - even if it is only fiction!

Jane the Virgin – This show is a new discovery of mine and it’s so cute I can’t even deal. I recently finished watching the first season on Netflix and am waiting impatiently for them to add season two.

Journaling - Writing in my journal allows me to get all of my thoughts and feelings out in a private place and sometimes just getting them down on to paper is all that is needed for me to feel better and make sense of a situation.

Trying a New Look – Playing around with makeup is one of my favourite ways to get creative and express myself. When I’m feeling down I love trying out new makeup looks and find it fun to switch things up a little (I’m sure this stems from the many teen films I’ve watched where a makeover has solved all of the heroines problems.)

Chatting to Friends – This year I’ve learnt to be really honest with my friends when I’m struggling instead of keeping it all inside. I’ve learnt that it’s okay to lean on them when I need support and that being totally open and honest creates a deeper and more valuable friendship with the people you allow to get close to you.

Making a List of Achievements – It’s easy to look at the people around you and think that they have achieved so much more than you and are in a better place. Instead, when you find yourself thinking those thoughts, turn the focus on you. What have you achieved this year? Make a list of everything you’ve accomplished and take a moment to acknowledge your successes and feel proud of yourself.

I’d love to know, what would be on your list of Guaranteed Smiles?

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What Makes Me, Me - Faye

One of the things I struggle with most is defining who I am, so when I was asked to write this post, I froze a little. How does one actually explain what makes them, them, when they don’t know the answer. And honestly, I don’t know what makes me, me. It’s one of the reasons that I wanted to join this team, so that I can start to explore exactly who I am. This is what they call an identity crisis. And it is something that I have really been struggling with lately as I have been staring down the barrel of the gun that is “my future”. I’m twenty-five, working in a job that I both love and hate, and trying to only apply to jobs that I would love to do and would be good at. But as it stands, I don’t think I even know what that is. At this point in my life, I feel like I’m only adequate at everything I do and excel at nothing. And trying to apply for jobs when that’s your mental state is not exactly the easiest thing to do.

But that is all just the icing on the cake. Is my future, my skills and my abilities all that define me? Definitely not. In fact, the hardest part about understanding what makes me, me, is in defining what that actually means. But when I go to answer the question, I almost always jump to those things. I’m a blogger, a writer, a graphic designer, a library assistant, a reader. These are parts of me, but they don’t exactly wholly define me. And just upon looking at those things, it shows that I’m a little all over the place - or is that just how I see it? And thus today, for this blog post at least, I want to move a little further past these things, and dive a bit deeper into who I am.

So to start, I want to give a little bit more about my personality. From the above, I’m sure you can probably already tell that I struggle a little with confidence - something which I will be touching upon further on this blog - but that’s just a small part of me. I’m also an introvert - and proud. I’ve had a lot of trouble over the years with this as it seems that very few people understand what it actually means. A lot of people see the definition as a way of saying that you’re anti-social and prefer to spend life cooped up and alone. And while I do enjoy my own company and could quite happily do a lot of things on my own, I do also very much enjoy socialising. I love spending time with my friends, laughing and just having meaningful and wonderful conversations. Being an introvert doesn’t mean I hate people (well, I mean, not completely), it just means that I cannot be around people all the time. It means that my energy gets sapped completely if I’m in a room full of people for too long. It means that a long day is made longer if I get no alone time and it means I can become quiet and distant if it all gets too much for me. This is also something I want to explore further, but best to move on before this post gets too long.

Another part of my personality is that I have hyper-moments. Usually this occurs when I’m over-tired or had a little too much sugar. But it usually ends up with me being really silly, joking around, making funny noises or dancing or jumping about. It means that for a short while at least, my brain gets shut off and I end up saying things like “I have no idea why I said that”. It’s a part of me that I both love and hate because it feels freeing but I often end up feeling embarrassed and anxious after it all happens. But if it happens around you, it may also mean that I feel comfortable enough in your company that you won’t judge me. I’m also a bit of a hypocrit in this state. Because for all my hyper-moments, I’m wanting the world to look at me, to see me and then, as soon as it does, I wish it didn’t.

And that is something I well and truly struggle with about my personality. I crave to be invisible and seen all at the same time. Invisible because then I only have myself to worry about. Seen because I don’t want to feel truly alone. The power of the double-edged sword.

Along with all the above, I also like being funny. Causing others to laugh is something I love to do. Especially if that laughter comes at a time when they’re feeling down. Caring comes strongly into this and I do care deeply for other people. I worry for the world sometimes and wish that I could fix every problem that my friends go through. But I also struggle to let people in. Yes, I would do anything to help a stranger feel better but it takes a lot for that stranger to finally knock down the wall surrounding my heart. Though, I am not very good at telling people they’ve made it past the foundations. But it also means that if, once on the inside, my trust is broken, I find it very difficult, if not near impossible, to let those people break the wall again. Sometimes they can climb over the top to see in but won’t be able to actually clamber over.

But all of the above on my personality, still hasn’t really touched upon what really makes me, me, does it? Sure you know some things about me, probably even some things that you didn’t know before, but does it really paint a good picture on who I am? Does it tell you that I can get crippling depression? Does it tell you that sometimes I have to deal with my serious anxiety issues? Does it explain that I worry about my health so much that I’m probably causing it to decline before my very eyes? Answering the question of who I am, and what makes me that way is difficult. But the reason it’s so difficult is simply because I am a human being. I am complex and unique. So in my struggle to answer this question, I can at least attest to feeling less alone because I know that I am more than likely not the only one who has or is struggling with it too.

So to end this post, I want to say that what makes me, me, is every single aspect of my life. My experiences, my skills, my hobbies, my jobs, my friends, my idiosyncrasies. I am who I am because of everything.

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