When watching a quiz show on
television a few weeks ago, a question about boxing was asked. The female
contestant looked dumbfounded and was quick to respond with, “I’m a bit of a girl.” Sadly, her
response didn’t surprise me. In part, because I’m absolutely certain I’ve used
it myself, but also because it’s a statement that goes unchallenged in many
circles. This time, however, was the first time that I noticed my shock about
the implications of such a comment.
“I’m a bit of a girl” is always
used as a derogatory statement. Instead of claiming our femaleness as fact and observing
the strengths that we each have, the comment is used as a put-down. It becomes
about what you can’t do (“You run like a
girl,” or “You throw like a girl”)
and prescribes a set of subjects that you shouldn’t be expected to know
anything about, in the case of this quiz show. But do we ever hear men saying
their equivalent? Whilst claiming our status as women is so often seen as a declaration
of weakness, manhood tends to be seen as the personification of strength and
capability. If you cry, “you’re a girl,” is thrown as an insult because the sensitivity that we see as a positive when caring for others
becomes a put-down if seen in the opposite sex.
If someone had turned to Nicola
Adams, current Olympic, Commonwealth and European Boxing Champion, and told her
that her womanhood automatically rendered her incapable of success as a boxer,
her life would be radically different today. Yet her sport is the same sport
that the quiz contestant claimed automatic ignorance about. I’ve overheard many
conversations about sports and about careers, with people claiming that they’re
not “very lady-like.” But is history
really the best measure of what a woman should be? Perhaps we should be looking
at what a woman could be.
The vast number of options
available, from being doctors to electricians, playing rugby or badminton,
demonstrates the vast spectrum of talents seen amongst men, surely showing that
gender has very little to do with what we’re gifted at or what we enjoy. Opportunities,
no doubt, are far more scarce for women in certain fields, beginning at school
when PE lessons are divided into “girl” or “boy” sports. Only 9% of engineeringprofessionals in the UK are female, helped by 80% of Physics A-level students
being male. This is despite there being no reason, biologically, why women can’t
pursue this career path.
What we stereotype as being the
male domain is kept off-limits, with our statements of “I’m a bit of a girl” being used as an excuse. We can’t keep
succumbing to an “I shouldn’t know that”
mindset and then expect to be provided with more opportunities. To confine
individuals to lives guided by their x and y chromosomes, disregards the human
capacity for learning and for achievement, whilst society doesn’t benefit from
50% of its inhabitants. If we, the people who so often speak of female
empowerment, put ourselves down with our femaleness, we can’t expect others to
do any different. It’s time to stand up and claim our place as women as the
fact that it is. It’s not weakness, it’s not less. It just is.
I'm 28-years-old and I'm a virgin.