One of the first things people learn about me is my liking for sweet things. Ever since I was small I've had a sweet tooth. On the face of it, dessert seems quite a simple addiction. But it wasn't until my friend Caitlin came to visit recently that I began to dissect what the addiction really was.
You see, I buy a lot of chocolate. But my bedroom is also full of chocolate. Now if I was eating it all, then surely I would be constantly running out? But that's not the case. Quite often I buy it and don't even open it. Or take a few bites, and then won't touch it for months.
I mean, don't get me wrong. Sweet stuff tastes yummy. I love the taste and I enjoy trying new things. And most of the stuff I buy, its because its an unusual flavour, or because I want to try it. So only having a little bit, has satisfied that curiosity. I also often have some just before bed, and I don't really know why, but its a habit I've gotten into.
But as a self confessed dessert lover, why don't I just eat all the chocolate? Maybe its purely the act of buying it that I find comforting, rather than actually eating it. Maybe its a safety blanket in case I have a bad day, and I know I always have a great supply of chocolate to hand. Maybe its so that people will like me more. Because people want to go out for cake a lot more than they do salads. Maybe even its a compulsion, to fulfill what people think of me, or to hoard things, to distract myself.
Maybe its just something that makes me, me.